The 50s: Action Marmot is a cool underworld private investigator who uses “Marmot” as his code name so that no one finds out he’s the son of the mayor, and he exclusively punches gangsters and communists in back alleys despite owning four dozen guns. There are two named women in the show’s entire cast and none of them have as many appearances in the series as Bookshop Earl, a drunk who shows up as a minor informant.
The 60s: This is ostensibly a science fiction show in which a space captain wearing a jumpsuit covered in sequins shows up in various alien locales that all appear to be identical to studio backlots the production could film in during 30-minute bursts. Boom mikes frequently dip into the shot and one of the episodes was destroyed after it was clear that the lead actor’s ding-a-ling was visible through his jumpsuit for minutes at a stretch.
The 70s: This is a cartoon for children in which a humanoid marmot pretends to be a normal person for his day job as an accountant before using his marmot powers to solve crimes taking place in run-down amusement parks, which somehow make up approximately 60% of all land in this ambiguous locale.
The 80s: A failed pilot for a children’s show that produced four years of toys that had Hyper-Vomit Action but were discontinued after it was found that the vomit was technically highly acidic and might be harmful to children and may qualify as an explosive.
The 90s: In this sitcom the entire cast is the production staff of a fictional children’s show called “Action Marmot” and yet somehow have hours every week to goof off doing stupid pranks. Featuring one memorable actor, a female lead who nobody likes, a female character whom everyone assumes is queer and later becomes a fan darling when her actress comes out of the closet, and a frequent guest star who is more charming than anyone else on the main cast.
The 00s: An Adult Swim cartoon in which everyone cusses all the time and no action or marmots ever even show up.
Today: It’s some nonsense I made up for What Are You Playing, what did you expect?
Bonus question: What’s a movie you’re looking forward to seeing this year?
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Despite the rumors, I’m still going to hit the Unova Tour pretty hard. Wish my pup luck, as I’m hoping she’ll be able to enjoy it with me outside of the ticketed event day!
This is embarrassing, but I didn’t get to see the new Sonic movie in theaters with the pup (via drive-in), and I keep hearing it was pretty good, so that’s my pick.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna.bsky.social, blog): I’m hoping to get into Lord of the Rings Online this weekend and come up with a plan for what I’m moving and when and with what and where to. This weekend or next. Gotta do it! Server migration is upon us, whether we would risk it or not!
I literally have no idea what’s coming out this year until it does, and I don’t get to go see anything in theaters anyway. Sorry, I’m completely checked out mentally when it comes to first-run movies. TV, on the other hand? I’m excited for Andor and the Wheel of Time show to be back in my rotation.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes.bsky.social, blog): Since I can’t put myself into cryostasis for a week, I’ll have to find some other games to pass the time, I guess. I’ve recently gotten back into Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis, so that’s probably going to happen more this weekend, as well as some more peeks into The First Descendant and Once Human. Just for giggles.
Bonus: I had to look this one up because I hadn’t been paying close attention, but I’ve got a couple of pretty good answers here. The Fantastic Four: First Steps, primarily to get the taste of the Fox films out of my mouth, and The Naked Gun, primarily because I am deeply curious about Liam Neeson’s take on playing Frank Drebin Jr.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): The usual assortment of Warframe and a dash of Final Fantasy XIV along with maybe getting some actual decent sleep? I don’t expect to get decent sleep, I haven’t in months at minimum, but boy I would like that to be the case.
This year is looking pretty stacked for movies, not going to lie. My biggest to-sees right now are Death of a Unicorn, which just grabbed me by the throat from the trailer and looks to really hit my particular vibes. James Gunn’s Superman film looks amazing and I can’t wait to watch that, it should be outstanding. Nobody 2 is apparently happening, and the original was just a straight-up classic, so I want to see that, Robert Pattinson is starring in Mickey 17 which looks like it’s going to be wild (I’m less ride-or-die for it but Pattinson is always compelling), Thunderbolts looks like an interesting take on “what if Marvel did Suicide Squad” (which isn’t really the same as the comic team but y’know, I’m here for it), I’m very curious about whether or not Edgar Wright can pull off a Running Man remake… The Old Guard 2 is supposedly happening? Novocaine, trying to make Jack Quaid an action guy, that’ll be interesting to see? That Toxic Avenger remake starring Peter Dinklage is getting a wider release? And that’s not even counting me finally needing to see the movies that I have backlogged (I desperately need to see Night of the Hunter, this might be the year).
Sam Kash (@samkash@mastodon.social): I’ll be playing some of the different Steam Next Fest games. I’ve had my eye on Steel Hunters and Legacy Steel and Sorcery. Lots of steel being tossed around lately I suppose.
Bonus: I think I saw something about a new Karate Kid movie. I’m a big fan of the series and a fan of the Cobra Kai show so that’s where I’m at.
Tyler Edwards (blog): Still on World of Warcraft and The First Descendant. Also some demos on Steam I may check out.
Bonus: I rarely watch movies and pay very little attention to what’s coming up. It would be nice if Beyond the Spider-Verse finally released this year.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
