My fingers hover over the key at the last moment in the grips of an emotion that is unfamiliar.
Fear is the closest. Fear that has wracked my mind throughout this pursuit, a familiar emotion, constant in its way. But it is also inappropriate, inadequate in its own way. There is no doubt of what happens as I press this key, as the world batters against my tiny craft, as I feel things splinter and the shudder of impact.
This is not an act of hope. Hope has departed me. I have yielded hope in the face of reality, and now I simply… accept what is to come, bleak though it is. This key will be pressed, and the components of my being will shatter in stillness as I leap forward into nothing. The chances of that being wrong are infinitesimal.
But… they are not zero. And that is what stays my hand for just a moment. If I stop… doom awaits, but at least I chose it.
Is it better to gamble on a sliver of hope or to accept the inevitable? I don’t know. I will never know. I can never know.
I press the key and I hurtle forward.
Bonus question: How do you tend to handle nervousness?
Andy McAdams: I finally picked up Guild Wars 2: End of Dragons last week, and promptly started trying to get my skyscale – so I’ll probably continue doing that and maybe some more Oxygen Not Included in the downtime.
Bonus Question: Exercise, meditate, or both. Most of the time it’s both.
Ben Griggs (@braxwolf): World of Warships is wearing on me but I may play a few division matches with my son if he’s in the mood. Lately I’ve been back into (I can’t believe I’m about to say this) EVE Online. I’m skilling my character into the industrial career and have been chilling out and mining ore for the past week.
Nervousness? I think it’s a mindset thing to keep everything in perspective. Whatever I’m nervous about will pass, so think about how good it’s going to feel to be on the other side of it!
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’m hoping I get to play this weekend! I’ve been tempted by No Man’s Sky, but I’ll at least poke into City of Heroes. This weekend my husband and I are doing the tear-down and rebuild of our basement steps, so with luck I won’t still be trapped in the basement by Monday?
Pace, plan, and work. Nothing else helps.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I’m peeking back in to Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis, earning Astrologian levels in Final Fantasy XIV, more Elementalist leveling in Guild Wars 2, and racing on a giant Hot Wheels track in Forza Horizon 5. Pretty nice mixed bag, if you ask me!
I handle nervousness poorly. Specifically, I tend to mutter to myself and pace around a lot while trying to keep myself away from the brink of panic attack.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Some FFXIV shenanigans, some family time over the weekend that will hopefully be nice, and… I’m feeling the need for something else, but I don’t know what just yet. It needs to be something nice.
Gosh, I was hoping you knew. I do things to address the problems that make me nervous, sure, but that doesn’t help the nervousness.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
