Conan Exiles will have no boners on Xbone

This tower does not exist.

As it stands right now, players in Conan Exiles may stride across the land with mighty swords or short stabbing implements held high in the breeze, and also you can pick up a sword if you want to. But it appears that players on Xbox One (commonly shortened to “Xbone” because sometimes life loves irony) will be unable to thrust forward into the unknown. According to creative director Joel Bylos, the team was told outright that there were to be no rods dirtying up this game of filthy, scrabbling violence.

Bylos is unsure whether the ladies will still be able to go tits out for being exiled in a wasteland and trying to kill other people, but he knows that the dongs will be gone as surely as they are omitted from LEGO games. There’s also no word about whether or not PlayStation 4 players will be able to enjoy the simple joys of having their digital bits flapping in the breeze. Of course, you can enjoy that in the PC verson, so if that’s a selling point, you needn’t feel limp and weak.

Source: Glixel via Kotaku
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Jack Pipsam

Dang it, I want some man meat on my TV!


Can’t seem to be able to add a GIF. (How is this done?)

The full YT Video is


Mr. Schlag…if you are out there, we need a schlong gif for this debate. Pronto! <3

Mick the Barbarian

It never ceases to amaze me how violence is perfectly fine, but God forbid anyone have sex!

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Esoteric Coyote

I figured it bee to avoid the adults only rating that prevents games from being sold at many retailers. I do get a kick out of the fact dangly bits are a no no, but murder, slavery, and even verbal assault peppered with racial slurs is okay. Can’t like little jimmy see a willy, it’ll scar him for life.

Brother Maynard


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Patreon Donor

SEXIST! Just kidding. I can why they’d do this.

Robert Mann

This entire article needs another leg to stand on… :P


Nice title there ;)

Bryan Correll

The PC Master Race wins yet another measuring contest.