All right, this week’s What Are You Playing is ready to go! Serious life advice about how to be less boring, let’s do this, let’s fill up the preview so that no one not clicking on the story can get it ahead of time! Yeah! Party time, awesome! Let’s go!
Wait, why are you still here? You skip these intros all the time.
Look, I… I’m not supposed to admit this to you, but this course isn’t actually for you. You’re kind of a lost cause, and I think deep down you already know that. Your life is built around retreating into comfortable patterns that don’t make you happy, but they make you unhappy in familiar ways. Your frame of reference is continually sliding further and further away from things that are actually interesting or relevant.
This course is meant for people who are genuinely moving forward and not calcified in the same ways you are. Sorry, but I think your endgame here is just accepting that you’re boring and the rest of us have moved on. Really didn’t expect you to keep reading this long.
Oh, you could try taking up macrame! That’s a thing.
Bonus question: If you could perfectly impersonate the voice of any actor, who would you pick?
Bonus question: Um… let’s say Silent Bob.
Ben Griggs (@braxwolf): This past week I started playing clan battles in World of Warships for the first time. I’m terrible, but the credits are amazing. Also, I picked up Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey when it was half off on steam a few weeks ago, and I’ve fallen in love with it. AC finally feels like a proper RPG!
Bonus question: I have enough trouble imitating my own voice!
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’ll be crafting armor, armor, and more armor in my usual Star Wars Galaxies Legends. At this point I’ve stocked my vendors so thoroughly I’ve actually hit the vendor item cap for the first time ever. I never hit it on live at all. So that’s required some effort to work around!
This bonus question is hard. Putting my kids to bed with the voice of James Earl Jones would freak them out, so let’s pick that.
Carlo Lacsina (@UltraMudkipEX): I’m going to be playing my main and secondary Black Desert Online accounts. For my main account, I’ll be finding a good grindspot to grind in for the next month or so. I’m shooting for making at least two billion silver in the coming weeks. As for my second account, I’ll be getting the main Drighein storyline out of the way and get the lore bits for an upcoming column .
Eliot’s opening a can of worms with this question. It’ll have to be Miranda Cosgrove.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): Invictus Fleet Week in Star Citizen calls my name and I must answer. I must pet all of the pretty ships. Give them scritchies under their chins. Let them know they’re good girls. I will also try to pick up a few more Gunbreaker levels in Final Fantasy XIV, try out Magicka 2 since I got it on the cheap, and I’ll also be checking out Maneater; who wouldn’t want to play as a murderous shark monster?
If I had to pick any celebrity voice to imitate flawlessly, I’d choose Sean Bean. Then do completely menial things with my new power, like use that voice exclusively for drive-thru window ordering.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Hooray, Phantasy Star Online 2 is playable on Tuesday! So until then, I will be… puttering around, mostly. Low-impact old favorites, some FFXIV chores, you know.
I’d love it if I could sound like Alix Wilton Regan at any time I wanted. What would I do with that power? None of your business, that’s not the question.
Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): I might be dusting my old Lord of the Rings Online Captain off to see if I can get her going once more, but chances are far more likely that I’ll be doing a lot of pre-expansion prep in The Elder Scrolls Online and questing in Fallout 76.
Mia DeSanzo (@neschria): I am probably going to play Rimworld. My last couple of colonies have ended tragically due to my inept colonists. Seriously, more than one doctor is a good idea in case your doctor is unconscious, and people who will never do violence are pretty useless. (Ok, that’s entirely my fault. I can’t put my choices on my virtual colonists.)
I have a huge backlog of games, so I may try something I haven’t played before too.
Samon Kashani (@thesamkash): I’ll be in Starborne all weekend. My alliance has been going head to head with another one in an all out war. It’s been messy, but so far we have the upper hand. I’ll probably play Valorant and even Amazon’s new game Crucible for some more twitchy action.
This one isn’t a question I’ve ever thought about before. Maybe I’ll go with one of those great ones from ages past, Sean Connery.
Tyler Edwards: I’m bouncing between different games. Almost finished Reign of Terror, though it’s starting to feel like a bit of a slog. Also checking out Far Cry Primal, but I’m not sure that’s going to stick.
Bonus question: Gideon Emery. Fenris from Dragon Age 2 is the asterisk on my heterosexuality.
Pierre, patron: I’m so happy with my choice of going back to Final Fantasy XI last week. I haven’t played this MMO for months and almost forgot how good it is. Yes the UI is obsolete and unpractical, the graphics are dated (but still artistically beautiful anyway), but this old-school MMO has so much varied content and did so many things well when compared to unchallenging modern MMOs. In FFXI, you have to talk to the NPCs to know if they have a quest to give, and you have to read the quest to understand exactly what the goal is, where to go, and follow the instructions. No yellow marker anywhere to guide you. Some will say it’s painful and boring, I say it’s interesting, immersive, and you’re not a robot following yellow punctuation marks anymore, you’re active, you feel smart and really accomplish something going through these quests. So you got it; a lot of FFXI for me this weekend. I will probably also play some The Last of Us New Game+ to see how it works, I’m curious.
Bonus question: I had to think a lot this week, as I’m not really interested in impersonating any actor (or any good at it either). But if I could, it would probably be some actor with a very cavernous voice like Ron Perlman. And you MOP readers, anything noticeable on your gaming schedule for this weekend? Let us know in the comments.