Six Weeks Of Gym Membership (#773398-11A)
You are going to promise yourself that this is the year you finally find working out not to be a miserable slog that you abandon after just a couple of weeks, but you know that you are lying to yourself when you say that. Our package will buy you gym membership that starts exactly one week after New Year’s Day and then cancels automatically after four weeks, with a two-week grace period for you to get your stuff except for the towel you never quite remember to take from your locker. ($134.95)
The First Half Of Ulysses And The Back Half Of Your Favorite Book (#2981929-38)
You don’t know why you keep telling yourself that James Joyce’s impenetrable natterings are something you should read and feel good about, but instead of buying a copy of Ulysses before getting bored and stopping, you can now just buy this that trails off around the halfway mark and turns into a book you will actually finish reading. It’s sort of like an accomplishment. ($30, please specify second book; those of you who wish to pretend you will read Finnegan’s Wake are invited to simply stare directly at an eclipse)
Cast-Iron Cookware That Disintegrates Into Mulch (#8846274-674)
Yes, yes, this is the year that you’re actually going to learn how to care for cast-iron pans or whatever, it’s not a good lie when we all know you’re lying. This cast-iron cookware will disintegrate into usable plant mulch around April which is when you would admit to yourself that cast-iron pans are too much work and your real resolution is to grow zucchini in your house. Sure, you won’t be any more successful there, but at least it’s two failed resolutions for the price of one. ($75 per set of five pans)
Understanding What The Heck Is Going On With What Are You Playing (#48447-477451)
It’s actually just a book explaining how bad my mental state is, but maybe that’s something you’re into. ($Make me an offer)
Bonus question: What’s one thing you have planned for 2024 already?
​Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Haha, my weekend plans are related to the bonus question, as I’ll be ringing in 2024 with a few friends and board games, woo! I’ll be hitting up Splatoon 3 and Pokemon Violet’s DLC a bit on Saturday, and as my board game peeps also do Pokemon Go, we’ll probably get a few trades in too.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’m playing hostess at the moment, so very little MMOing for me. I’ve been playing some Minecraft Dungeons (the co-op roguelike) with my son a bit, though!
My brother is getting married again in 2024, so we’re flying to what will surely (surely!) be his best and (most importantly) last wedding this year.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I might take a break from alt job leveling in Final Fantasy XIV after having just gotten the Monk up to cap… but then the Samurai is looking at me. Mostly though I’m probably going to end up playing more Cuisineer, which has been an unexpectedly awesome grinding game.
This year I absolutely am going to renew my passport and then try to get the funds to visit my in-laws in Wales. 2024 is the Year of Exfiltration.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): I have no real plans for New Year’s Eve beyond playing FFXIV, playing some World of Warcraft, and maybe playing some other video games. Look, right now, that’s got to be the heights of my ambition. Try again tomorrow.
At the moment I am deeply, deeply terrified about 2024, but I hope like hell it will actually be good. I know I will be watching the next fan festival for FFXIV next Saturday. I am relatively sure I will see the expansion release. I do not feel comfortable making any other predictions.
Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): This week I’m continuing my beach hopping adventures in Lord of the Rings Online, some more Northrend questing in WoW Classic, and a revisit of EverQuest II with my Ratonga Necromancer.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I’m deep in the Harry Potter Magic Awakened winter PvP ish event. I’m currently holding the #4 spot in my house but it doesn’t look like I’m be able to take #3. That person just has too big a lead on me so I’m just trying to hold my place. I’m also very close to completing Immortals of Avium (single player) so hopefully I can complete that.
Bonus: We’ve got a career change about to occur at the start of the year so there’s that. Here’s to it working out…
Tyler Edwards (blog): A friend got me a murder mystery game called This Bed We Made for Christmas, and I’m hoping to start on that. Also continuing to grind the winter event in New World, though a bit less.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
