My therapist: “Prettier Healing Hanzo isn’t real in Overwatch 2, he can’t hurt you.”
Me: “No, you don’t understand, he’s going to be real on April 11th. And he’s a support healer, so he’s mostly facilitating other people hurting me by making it harder for me to hurt them. Like, he recovers their health, or traps people on platforms. It’s kind of hard to tell from the trailer.”
My therapist: “I see. And when we have these feelings about Prettier Healing Hanzo -”
Me: “His name is Lifeweaver and his hair care routine looks outstanding.”
My therapist: “All right. When we have these feelings about Lifeweaver, what do we do with them?”
Me: “We remember that at one point this game was supposed to include PvE content so I wouldn’t have to be afraid of playing against these characters but could instead fight alongside them?”
My therapist: “Overwatch 2 PvE content isn’t real, it can’t hurt you.”
Me: “No, you don’t understand, it not being real is hurting me.”
Prettier Healing Hanzo:
