The 2017 MOP MMO Christmas album

Do you like to sing carols? That’s one of my favorite things about this time of year! Christmas time is the best time for music to permeate everything. There’s not a moment that goes by that I’m not thinking of or singing a song. Instead of sugarplums dancing in my head, I usually have lyrics. You may have heard a tune or two while watching The Stream Team adventures on OPTV (and you just might hear more again sooner than you think!).

Of course, my songs aren’t always of the traditional sort; they tend to have a twist or three. It’s inevitable that two things I love — gaming and music — are intertwined in interesting and/or strange ways. My first Christmas carol concoctions came back in 2011 in my Solorius medly album. The next year, a second batch was born, and I was pretty much totally hooked. Chaos Theory got in on the action in both 2013 and in 2014. But I play so many more games now that the tunes aren’t contained to any one title. Here is a smattering of holiday music from Warframe, The Secret World, The Lord of the Rings Online, EverQuest II, ARK, and Aion that you can sing along to this season. Go ahead, no one’s listening!

Warframe

Little Grineer Boy

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
To fight the Tenno beasts, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest kills we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before our Queens, pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum

So to honor them, pa rum pum pum pum
When we come.

No offering, pa rum pum pum pum
I’m just a young Grineer, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no kills to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That’re fit to give my Queens, pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum

Shall I hunt for you?
Pa rum pum pum pum
With my gun.

The Queens nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
I killed my first one then, pa rum pum pum pum
I shot many more for them, pa rum pum pum pum
I killed Tenno for them, pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum

Then they smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my gun

I’m beginning to really love these headshots

I’m beginning to really love these headshots
With a rifle or a bow.
Sweet non-violent me, creeping along sneakily–
I find a spot and take the shot. Yo ho!
I’m beginning to really love these headshots!
Dealing death as I go.
But the prettiest sight to see is killing up to three
with a single blow!

Catch them off-guard and then hit them hard
Is my wish as I round the bend
Fire my shots and kill quite a lot
Is my hope in every mission
And it’s true that I can hardly wait until I shoot again!

I’m beginning to really love these headshots
Killing all Grineer
Blasting infested left and right, oh it’s a lovely sight.
I’m taking shots while grinning ear to ear!
I’m beginning to really love these headshots
Soon the fun will start,
And the thing that makes me sing are the bullets that will zing
Tearing mobs apart!

I’m beginning to really love these headshots
Who would have thought?
Shooters are not my game, unless it is Warframe,
Then I love it lots!

Yes I love it, much more!

Far, Far Away on Eidelon’s Plains

Far, Far Away on Eidelon’s Plains
Warframes and Tenno sang the joyous strains:
Kill the Grineer,
Kill the Grineer,
Kill the Grineer and the Eidolons.
Fight and fly on your Arcwing here;
Fight and fly on your Arcwing here!

Fishing is fun if you have a good spear,
Get enough faction and you can buy one here.
Fish in the stream,
Fish in the stream,
Fish in the stream and get fish meat!
Now shoot birds and grab their loot;
Now shoot birds and grab their loot.

Hasten to fly way up high in the sky
Blasting your enemies is fun, it’s no lie!
Kill the Grineer,
Kill the Grineer,
Kill the Grineer and the Eidolons.
Fight and fly on your Arcwing here;
Fight and fly on your Arcwing here!

Ostrons in Cetus they’ll harvest the flesh
Of Orokin Tower til nothing is left.
Kill the Grineer,
Kill the Grineer,
Kill the Grineer and the Eidolons.
Fight and fly on your Arcwing here;
Fight and fly on your Arcwing here!

The Secret World/Secret World Legends

Silver Bells

Solomon Island, Tokyo’s Kaidan
Littered with bodies a while
In the air
There’s a smell
This Christmas
Children laughing (maniacally)
People passing (out)
Fleeing mile after mile
And on ev’ry street corner you’ll hear

Silver bells, Krampus and Hel,
It’s Christmas time in The Secret World
Ring a ling, hear them scream,
Soon you will see a Christmas play!

Strings of musicians
Even Phoenicians
Pooled in blood red you’ll see
As the questers rush
out for their treasures

Hear the bones crunch
Follow your next hunch
Solve another puzzle song
And beyond the next door
You’ll hear

Silver bells, Krampus and Hel,
It’s Christmas time in The Secret World
Ring a ling, hear them scream,
Soon you will see a Christmas play!

‘Twas A Mother of A Season

‘Twas A Mother of A Season, when all through Savage Coast,
The factions were gathered in a massive host;
The ritual items were hunted and shared,
In the hopes that Super Hel soon would be there —
She dropped scarves and mittens and horns and more;
Regular Hel in Niflheim even dropped lore!
And Krampus, of course, littered The Secret World,
Leaving second-hand gifts to good (or bad) boys and girls.
But lest you think that’s all there was to do,
For a limited time there was End of Days too!
Oh how every player wanted vestiges dead,
For visions of enruned pets danced in their heads.
Xibalba had goodies and there were achievements galore,
And don’t forget that the Quetzal bird pooped lore.
Have you got it all yet? You’d better make haste:
It ends on the second so there’s no time to waste!
Prepare to grind all through the day and the night;
Happy Krampusnacht to all, and to all a good fight!

Lord of the Rings Online

I Saw Mommy Kissing Sauron

I saw mommy kissing Sauron,
Underneath his glowing eye so bright.
She didn’t see me creep
Into Mordor to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked
up in the Shire fast asleep.

Then, I saw Mommy tickle Sauron
Trust me it was quite the scary sight!
And it would have been a bad thing,
If he had found that ring!
When Mommy kissed Sauron last night

I Heard the Tales From Frodo’s Hand

I heard the tales from Frodo’s hand,
How he tossed the ring and saved the land.
From evil’s grasp, a deadly task
For peace in Middle-earth ‘tween elves and men.

I thought how it was dangerous,
That trek to Mordor he made for us
From Nasgul he fled so he wouldn’t be dead.
For peace in Middle-earth ‘tween elves and men.

He had Samwise to help him through
His friend knew what he had to do
Slap some sense in Frodo so he’d let go
For peace in Middle-earth ‘tween elves and men.

Finally in fires it burned,
The one Ring’s gone, its curse was spurned.
Frodo went home and was alone
With peace in Middle-earth ‘tween elves and men.

Bilbo, Did You Know?

Bilbo, did you know
that your shiny ring could destroy all of Middle-earth?
Bilbo, did you know
Of the evil thoughts that soon would steal all your mirth?
Did you know
That the One Ring would warp your very thoughts?
That your hopes to keep it hidden would only come to aught?

Bilbo, did you know
That Gollum was a hobbit once named Smeagol
Bilbo, did you know
That Gandalf knows you are hiding something evil?
Did you know
That your lying now is something very wrong?
That when you wear that one Ring, your will is not so strong?

Bilbo, did you know?

The Ring will warp
The Ring will hurt
The Ring will twist your mind
Sauron will come
He’ll kill you all
That Ring he wants to find.

Bilbo, did you know
That your nephew now will have to save Middle-earth?
Bilbo, did you know
That Frodo will have to go and prove his worth.

Did you know
The the evil in your pocket is so bad?
The Ring that you are wearing is going to drive you mad!

EverQuest II

Here Comes Santa Glug

Here comes Santa Glug, here comes Santa Glug,
Right down Frostfell Lane
Gigglegibbers are his helpers
But they all look the same.
The Elves are missing, goblins are hissing,
It’s a crazy ol’ sight
To get your gifts visit Wonderland Village
‘Cause Santa Glugs’ got them nigh.

Here comes Santa Glug, here comes Santa Glug
Right down Frostfell Lane
He’s got a bag that’s filled with gifts
For all Norrathians
Alts are logging, bags are clogging,
Oh, not another snow globe!
I need more ducks but I’ve got no luck,
Maybe now I’ll get a pillow.

Here comes Santa Glug, here comes Santa Glug.
Right down Frostfell Lane
He’ll fill your bags and all your bank,
It’s Frostfell time again
Clear some space you’ll need it all
‘Cause you get gifts each day
Buy a new house to store it now
‘Cause Santa Glugs’ here to stay.

‘Twas a night during Frostfell

‘Twas a night during Frostfell and all through EverQuest II,
Norrathians were finding there’s just so much to do!
There’s the all new Frostfell Wonderland Village to explore,
and snowballs to gather and quests galore.
Help the Gigglegibbers be part of the fun,
Then save all of Frostfell when you are done.
Don’t forget the presents to harvest and special crafts to make —
you can even get your own crafting table to take.
Earn Frozen Tokens of E’ci and buy
armor and weapons and decorations, oh my!
The list goes on of activities old and new,
so jump in fast and play — all that’s missing is you!

ARK: Survival Evolved

I’m taming a dino

I’m taming a dino,
Making sure it is fed,
Keep it sleeping with narcos —
If it wakes up I’m dead.

The darkness is coming
The night sounds bring fear
Something is growling
And it’s coming near

Five minutes and I’m done,
I’ll have a new pet!
Ack a Rex it just ate us
Now my corpse I must get.

It’s camping my body,
I’ve lost all my gear.
It’s time to move on now,
Oh no there’s a bear!

Aion

Deck the Asmo

Deck the Asmo with my mace,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Clip his wings and smash his face,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Don we now our PvP gear,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Victory will soon be here,
Fa la la la la la la la la.

See the blazing Asmo before us
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Strike a match and light more up
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Follow me for killing pleasure,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
While we share our looted treasures.
Fa la la la la la la la la.

Fast away the Asmo runs flies
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Let’s pursue him til he dies
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Strike him down now, all together!
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Flick his ears and pluck his feathers.
Fa la la la la la la la la.

Elyos We Have Heard on High

Elyos we have heard on high
Quickly flying o’er the plains,
And once they get in my sights
On their heads my spells will rain.
Fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ireballs are great!
I could singe their wings all day.
Fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ireballs are great!
I could singe their wings all day.

Come to Gelkmaros and see
All the Elyos at the siege.
Come and drop them to their knees,
Fry those white winged enemies!
Fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ireballs are great!
I could singe their wings all day.
Fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ireballs are great!
I could singe their wings all day.

Flapping Wings

Dashing through the Abyss
While a siege is taking place
To the forts we go
Flying all the way
See a red dot on radar
Make a slight detour
Stab and blast and then you win
when they fight no more!

Flapping wings, flapping wings,
flying all the day
Let’s go hunt in the Abyss
Oh look! One got away!
Singe those wings, singe those wings
Falling to his death
Oh what fun it is to hunt
Until my final breath!

A day or two ago
I thought I’d try to craft
So I emptied out my cube
And gathered all the mats
Grabbed myself a book
Bought some fuel as well
Clicked the “craft all” button there
And hoped I wouldn’t fail.

Flapping wings, flapping wings
Flying all the day
Someone’s hunting me this time
Oh whew! I got away!
Oh that stinks, I dropped my wings
Falling to my death
Oh what fun it is to hunt
Until my final breath!

Frosty the Asmo

Frosty the Asmo was a very jolly soul,
With a corn cob pipe and Kromede’s bow
And two wings that looked like coal.
Frosty the Asmo met an Elyos, they say,
He had to know they were enemies both
But he couldn’t fight her that day.
There must have been some magic in the
Way she looked at him.
For once she winked his heart was gone
Though he knew his chance was slim!
Oh Frosty the Asmo
Fell in love with an Elyos!
He said be mine in pantomime
and then he let her go!
Thumpetty thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
His heart was beating fast.
Thumpetty thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Went the arrows she shot back!

Gramma Got Run Over By an Asmo

Gramma got run over by an Asmo!
Walking home from Besh on Solorius Eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as PvP,
But as for me and grampa, we believe!

She’d forgot to drink her potions,
Didn’t even pop one scroll.
She was taken by surprise there,
And slower reflexes really took their toll.

When we found her at the obelisk,
She was dazed from the attack.
She had black feathers in her hairnet
And many arrows still stuck into her back!

Gramma got run over by an Asmo!
Walking home from Besh on Solorius Eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as PvP,
But as for me and grampa, we believe!

It’s not Solorius without gramma
All the Elyos are dressed in black
We’re all sitting here just plotting
Our revenge to get those pesky Asmos back!

Now we’re all so proud of grampa,
He’s collected 20 kills.
See him out there casting fireballs,
Killing Asmos was always such a thrill!

Gramma got run over by an Asmo!
Walking home from Besh on Solorius Eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as PvP,
But as for me and grampa, we believe!

It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Solorius

It’s beginning to look a lot like Solorius, everywhere you go.
Take a look in Pandemonium, glistening once again,
With candy canes and Daeva wings aglow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Solorius, garlands on the doors,
But the prettiest sight you see is the enemy that will be
Laying dead on the floor!
Swords that dice and daggers that slice
Are the wishes of Templar and Sin.
Manastones that slot (and we mean a lot)
Are the hopes of Cleric and SM.
And Ranger and Glad can hardly wait for Chaos to pop again!
It’s beginning to look a lot like Solorius, everywhere you go.
There’s a tree in Sanctum as well; wait, are you kidding, what the…
The trees above are filled with twinkling lights?
It’s beginning to look a lot like Solorius, soon the arena will start.
And the thing that will make Daevas grin, is the tokens that they win
As they stab your heart!

Oh Come All Ye Daevas

Oh, come, all ye Daevas,
Joyful and triumphant!
Oh, come ye, oh, come ye to Beshmundir.
Come and behold him
The mighty dragon Stormwing
Oh, come, help us defeat him
Oh, come, help us defeat him,
Oh, come, help us defeat him,
And maybe get loot!

The Solorius Song

Elyos stepping in the line of fire,
Jackk Frosst PKing from below,
Solorius carols being sung at funeral pyres,
And folks dressed in new gear from head to toe.

Everybody knows a carebear and some focus fire,
Help to make the kill count high.
Tiny Sorcs with their tomes all aglow,
Will find it hard to dodge tonight.

They know that melees are on their way,
With silence and para godstones to ruin their day.
And every Daeva’s wish when they fly,
Is to see the enemy fall out of the sky.

So I’m offering you this simple phrase,
To Daevas from level one to fifty-five,
However you do it, many times, many ways,
Kill them first and stay alive!

Here Come Elyos

Here come Elyos, here come Elyos,
Right down Inggison lane!
Ranger and Templar and all their group-mates,
Coming forth to train!
Mobs are chasing, clerics racing,
It’s such a funny ol’ sight,
Clear the path, yes step aside,
Cause Elyos comin’ on by!

Here come Elyos, here come Elyos,
Right down Inggison lane!
Half the group is dead by now,
The other half is lame!
Health is dropping, that Chanter’s flopping,
Think one will make it alive?
Don’t make a bet, they ain’t there yet,
Cause Elyos gonna die!

‘Twas the Night Before

‘Twas the night before Solorius and all through Atreia
Plenty were stirring, yes even the Daeva.
Stealthed Sins in Chaos hung in the air,
In hopes than an enemy soon would fly near.

The Templars UD then pound enemies dead,
While visions of AP danced in their heads.
But my friend with his bloodlust and I in new gear,
Ventured forth in Atreia to PvP in the new year.

Silentera was first, Gelkmaros was next,
Patrolling for enemies, but we were to be vexed;
No enemies were found on this lonely night,
No red dots at all! What a terrible sight!

Perhaps it’s too late and they’ve all gone to bed,
So back to Inggison we quickly head.
When what to our wondering eyes do appear,
But red dots galore. They were all over here!

Kill number one, then two, three, four, and five.
Miracle of miracles, I’m still alive!
Oops not for long now, as their numbers swell,
The next death was mine, I’m sure you could tell.

Their numbers still grew, so PvP was done,
But there many more way to have our fun.
Fail crucible first? Or shall we stay and fight?
We can start at the beginning, I have all night.

We also could Besh, make an alt or two;
If you mentor me, I’ll mentor you!
Long live Fire Temple, NTC, and Steel Rake,
If we reroll now, how long will it take?

Hunting the lands, cubes filled with loot galore.
Up on the broker it goes. Oh nice, I sold more!
I’ll craft just a bit, maybe make us some scrolls
(I openly admit this part’s a bit droll).

The arenas are open, wait why is the sun up so soon?
You can’t be serious, it’s already noon?!
So little time and so much to do!
Instances, arenas, and roleplaying, too.

Guess I played all night, ‘spose I’ll just play all day.
Other games? Real Life? Pfft — in Aion I’ll stay
Alongside my friends, both dark-winged and light.
I wish many deathblows to all, and to all a good fight!

We Wish You a Merry Deathblow

We wish you a merry deathblow;
We wish you a merry deathblow;
We wish you a merry deathblow and a general kill too!
Good tidings we bring, to you and your group;
Good tidings of loots drops and a general kill too!

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4 Comments on "The 2017 MOP MMO Christmas album"

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zoward

LOL! You’re having waaaaaaay too much fun with this, aren’t you MJ! Hope you had a Merry Christmas…

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Bryan Turner

Nothing says Merry Christmas like coming across a couple ESO Dark Elves practicing S&M this morning while doing some questing before going to bed.

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Melissa McDonald

I know you had fun making those. “Bilbo, Did you Know?” was truly funny.