One Shots: The hills are alive with the sound of growling

    
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Just because you’re a frighteningly large beast with a predator’s slavering claws and fangs doesn’t mean that you have to accept the stereotype that the world wants you to fit. Instead of munching on toddlers and becoming a Wall Street trader, you could pursue your true passion: flower picking in the sun-drenched mountains. People might judge you, but I won’t.

Frank presents a glimpse into this alternative lifestyle in FFXIV: “O Poorest Pauldia, a fearsome beast strolling the meadows of Il Mheg. Perhaps if he stopped to smell the flowers he wouldn’t be so angry…”

Think of how much stress he’d lose from those shoulders!

Another way to treat oversized beasts with more muscles than common sense? Electrocuting them. Utakata saw this gorilla in World of Warcraft and posted, “Shock the monkey!”

I know the internet. That’s probably slang for something that I don’t want to investigate. No, don’t tell me in the comments, thanks.

And speaking of stellar ideas, getting absolutely smashed as a pint-sized person and then dancing on top of a rickety table while stomping all over other people’s lunches sounds like the sort of irresponsible activity that those Shire-folk promote.

“What happens in LOTRO’s Prancing Pony, stays in The Prancing Pony,” said Hikaru.

“Well, I’m back in Anthem,” Rafael announced. “And unfortunately, summer is on hold due to a Cataclysm. It’s summery weather and it is a festival of sorts with all the players returning for Tarsis. I guess it is analogous to summer fun if you were, say, caught in a hurricane.”

“Does your summer suck?” Mysecretid asked. “State of SWTOR’s galaxy got you down? Well, come visit Vette and I at our secret little smuggler’s hideaway on the ocean world of Manaan! There’s a cantina band on the patio most nights, and if you show a copy of this message to the bartender droid, your first two drinks are free! We’ve got sun, we’ve got sea — we’ve all the friendly ne’er-do-wells you could ever want to meet!”

It’s the end of the column but not your involvement with it! For this week’s screenshot challenge, share a picture of your current favorite MMO mount in the comments and tell us a bit about how you got it and what you like about it.

Every week, One Shots shines a spotlight on the best community screenshots from your MMO adventures. If you have a great pic to share, email it to justin@massivelyop.com with the subject “One Shots.” Make sure that the picture is over 880px wide and comes with a description or story!
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