One Shots: In the altogether

Warning: After the break is a shocking depiction of human nudity and the bravado of a squirrel that seeks to save you from nightmares for the next two weeks. It is all thanks to that online weirdness generator called Final Fantasy XIV and beloved reader Skoryy, who is incredibly quick with that screenshot key.

This is from Skoryy’s private photography gallery entitled, “Random MMO Funny Faces.” Gaze in awe and dumbstruck horror after the break, then read on because we’ve got a whole bunch of interesting player shots for you to admire when you tire of trying to peek around that bushy tail.

We saw some interesting responses to last week’s “impossible or inexplicable” screenshot challenge, such as this skybox from World of Warcraft.

“Something inexplicable? Yeah, it’s called the Roche limit. Shouldn’t this be a thing here?” Utakata asks.

To save you the trouble of Googling it: “The Roche limit is the minimum distance to which a large satellite can approach its primary body without being torn apart by tidal forces. If satellite and primary are of similar composition, the theoretical limit is about 2 1/2 times the radius of the larger body.”

“I just used Neverwinter’s demo tool to grab some snaps of my Dragonborn in action,” said Boom.

OK, this sort of stance should be accompanied by a weighty and well-rehearsed speech, a transformation of a loyal pet to a suitable battle-mount, and children across the world cheering at their TV screens and yelling at you to go give the bad guys hell.

“Whilst playing ARK, I came across a… puzzling sight,” wrote William. “Of a Megalodon, head down, booty up, as it were. When approached, it seemed content with whatever the hell it was doing, and in true ARK fashion, I murdered it and ate it. But now I feel compelled to faceplant the seabed as well.”

Did we just publish an article with the phrase “head down, booty up” included in it? Yes. Yes we did.

And yet more unexplained sights in MMORPGs, this one from Camelotcrusade and Star Wars the Old Republic:

“Moving on to unexplained phenomena. Can you really project black light (i.e., darkness)? And how would you make a black laser? If a laser is light, how can you make something which somehow negates the presence of light? A machine can’t output nothing. So what is it outputting?

“Wow, did I go down a rabbit hole trying to answer my own questions on the internet before I posted this. I just spent an hour reading about passive darkness, shades of black color (including the influence of material and shine), the annihilation of light (or ‘active darkness’) and black holes. The answer, by the way is absolutely not, probably not, yes*, and no, depending on exactly what you’re asking.”

What’s an NPC that you love to hate? Smack his, her, or its face on a screenshot and unload about what you loathe about this particular character!

Every week, One Shots shines a spotlight on the best community screenshots from your MMO adventures. If you have a great pic to share, email it to justin@massivelyop.com with the subject “One Shots.” Make sure that the picture is over 880px wide and comes with a description or story!
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35 Comments on "One Shots: In the altogether"

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Kenji Takeda

post editing sometimes is hard.

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Kenji Takeda

Tenno is ready

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Melissa McDonald

goofing off in Second Life

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Malcolm Swoboda

Just chillin in Tokyo.

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Schlag Sweetleaf

Let’s ride:)

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Malcolm Swoboda

my first schlag!

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Schlag Sweetleaf

you took an awesome shot;)

Mewmew
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Mewmew

I don’t know if this comment will remain, but still I must say… Even if the picture did fully show a nude male, dongs aren’t that shocking :P Nor are they nightmare inducing.

I don’t know if the writer was being sarcastic (probably?) being that there isn’t anything more than what you see at family beaches. It’s cute that it gives the illusion of nudity, though there is nothing actually shocking there.

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Cypher

“Dongs arent that shocking”…
Not if you overheard the conversation I just caught between a pair of female employees, talking about a recent tinder related experience one had this weekend…
I’ll say no more :-p

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mysecretid

My time-displaced 23rd-century starship captain in Star Trek Online wonders what strange mysteries he might uncover on this new world.

The redshirts behind him simply wonder if they’ll make it back to the ship alive. :-)

(Note for the nerdy and sharp-eyed — Cryptic provides an array of ship-specific patches, like they used to use back in the original series, for C23rd captains and crews. My captain’s starship is the Perseus, so the patch you’re seeing is a stylized medusa’s head. Also, the standard “command star” on the patch has been swapped out by me for the vortex swirl design STO uses to designate a temporal agent captain) /nerd

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Stormwaltz

An unexpectedly scientific One Shots.

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zoward

“What’s an NPC that you love to hate?” Hmmm….

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mysecretid

Oh, she was a frustrating little idiot!

I wanted to pick her up and carry her out of there over my shoulder. Silly hobbit!

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Ryuen

I confess, I let her die back in the day, in the end I just walked away and cancelled the quest.
Worst. Escort. Quest. Ever.

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Utakata

“’The Roche limit is the minimum distance to which a large satellite can approach its primary body without being torn apart by tidal forces. If satellite and primary are of similar composition, the theoretical limit is about 2 1/2 times the radius of the larger body.’”

To clarify, my Gnome based guild had a two day debate on this subject. To which my lore savvy guild lead suggested is what we’re looking at is jerry-rigged Fleet of Worlds sized Legion Portal to which Illidan Stormrage (speaking of annoying NPC’s) had hacked to create the appearance of a planet, with none of the gravitation chaos an Earth sized body would have if suddenly appeared between a host planet and it’s moons. To demonstrate this, my as for mentioned guild lead noted that Argus is face locked when observing it from Azeroth. However, when Azeroth is observed from Argus, it is not.

…or tl,dr: A wizard did this!

Here’s a clearer picture of the offending planet just over High Mountain and my pigtails. (Please see image attached.)

PS: Another thanks for plugging one of my screen shots again, Mr. Justin. <3

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DeadlyAccurate
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DeadlyAccurate

I had a pretty good Junkrat play of the game this week.

I also had a hilarious Torbjorn PotG, where Ana sleep-darted me through most of it, but Overwatch didn’t tag it as a highlight, so I lost it before I could save it off.

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Rees Racer

Justin and Eliot must have had breakfast together today, because we’ve got the same sort of thing going on in The Daily Grind immediately below One Shots

Corso Riggs (SWTOR) is such an incredibly obvious and easy target…and tossing him into a Sarlacc Pit would be too good for him.

So, just to be a bit different, and because this seems to bother me so, I nominate any of the many thousands of these NPC wankers in Elite Dangerous, who illogically want to divert me 5 jumps and 20LY away (as I’ve about arrived at my original destination) just to deliver 6 units of…tea. That system better have plenty of bloody biscuits waiting for me.

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Boom

Thank you for the pic post:)
With the current debacle happening over in NW though concerning them double (im being generous) dipping the player base that Dragonborns adventures could be about to cease.

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deekay_plus
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deekay_plus

i didn’t take any screens this week because after accidentally’ing my windows install twice i havent been arsed to install fraps again to easily take them with just a couple weeks before i get my new pc.

so instead have a meme from a new super dank sub we discovered this week, which remind me of an old friend that passed away last year after a long and hard battle with cancer.

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mysecretid

Cancer, bleah. My sincere condolences, pal.

It chaps my man-bits that we’ve got all this tech that previous generations would view as godlike, but putting cancer out of commission still seems to elude us — even though I know the problem is being worked on constantly worldwide.

Yeah, treatments are a lot better, and more people beat it than ever before, but it’s still a rough ride for anyone who suffers it. I really hope they end this affliction in my lifetime. Fuck cancer, indeed.

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Cypher

With the amount of money it’s treatment brings in for BigPharma, the cynic in me wonders if they really want to cure a multi billion dollar revenue stream… prob not the time/place for this one though…

deekay_plus
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deekay_plus

thx, he was closest to my adoptive sister which to her children he was grandpa. then earlier this year her close friend was hit and killed by a drunk driver while walking down the road. then just this past week another close friend hit a semi truck head on in his motor home and died.

it’s been a very rough year and a bit for her, and hard to watch her deal with it. but she’s not dealing with it alone by any means. so there’s that.

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mysecretid

It’s good that she’s not alone. A valuable thing I learned years ago is that when one “doesn’t know what to say” during tragedies, one doesn’t actually have to say anything at all — just show up, hug if required, make tea, or just generally be nearby. If the person wants to talk, they will. It’s your presence which matters. I pass this along in case it is helpful. Best of luck to your sister.

deekay_plus
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deekay_plus

well she’s in calgary and i’m in cottage country ontario. so showing up doesn’t quite work as easily as one would hope. but we keep in touch with facebook and share words of encouragement there and touch base and such.

the hard part is when the next time my bro and bff who moved to texas who is her real brother gets on telling him his other bro and bff died.

the worst part of that being that the guy in question had lifted himself out of a cycle of heavy drug use and partying and parlayed it into a successful DJing career which he was apparently touring BC with his gf when he died. such a shame. :(

i’ll be out there next summer to chill out with her and her fam, as she had been coming out here the past few summers which previously i had gone out there for years since moving back here from there.

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camelotcrusade

Ugh, I know I’m going to egret re-posting this NPC. Just seeing him makes me think a fowl plot is afoot, and him holding a computer is a tern for the worse. I hope there isn’t another one around the corner, or this won’t be pheasant. Then we’ll have two birds stoned at once (or whatever tweaks your beak, as they say).

Sorry for grousing, I’m just not used to this kind of tweetment. Owl see you later.

Also: TITS.

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mysecretid

Why do you pun-ish me so? :-)

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Utakata

The Star Wars universe has Moonkins? o.O

miol
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miol

In Anet’s livestream about mounts last Friday, they spoke about how their experiments with mounted combat felt too clunky, and that they didn’t want to overlap it too much with normal combat and its elite specs. Yet they couldn’t help themselves to tease us since the first expansion with concept art depictions, cutscenes and these mounted and spear throwing Mordrems! :/

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Zulika Mi-Nam
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Zulika Mi-Nam

All I have been playing this weekend is Warhammer 40,000: Inquisitor – Martyr. I have no love or even like for the WH 40K world/lore/whatevs, but I do like this game play. It is like Diablo 3/PoE but with a slower pace and you have to use cover and/or take into account your enemies use of cover.

Here is a pic of the base area which is like a hub city from other OARPGs.

It is in EA Alpha via Steam with a relatively expensive buy-in which can greatly depending on where you live from what I understand. So don’t rush in if you like this type of game. Streaming is allowed, so I watched a few hours before I got it – good thing too the tutorial is not in there yet.

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mysecretid

Evidently, that squirrel was looking for some nuts?

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Koshelkin

In honor of KG.

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camelotcrusade

What’s KG, and why is that lady missing her head? Lovely pic, by the way. :p

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Jon Camp

KG = Kristen Geary, the foul-mouthed non-nonsense bitch of a leader of the Illuminati in The Secret World. Everyone loves her and hates her…. except this Oni in Tokyo, who just loves her and commissioned this painting….

The “lady” is a headless mannequin.

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Schlag Sweetleaf

.

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Utakata

You can throw some of those pink petals towards me too. <3

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