It’s been a running joke for a few years that I always put hot tubs in my MMO houses whenever possible, and once that became a Whole Thing, I started looking for them in other games too. So, on this holiest of high holy days – that is, April Fools’ Day – I present to you an absolutely serious, not-remotely-a-joke-at-all listicle of my favorite hot tubs in MMOs. The best part is that I put out a call for our writers and readers to fill out my list because initially, I didn’t have 10. Haha! You guys delivered. Now I have 30, but I’m not changing my title. Go yell at my boss about it. What’s that, I don’t have a boss? Of course I don’t. If I had a boss, she hopefully wouldn’t pay for an absurd article about hot tubs in MMORPGs. Lucky for you…
Of course I’m kicking off this insanity with the most recent version of the hot tub in my Star Wars Galaxies Legends workshop. Yes, I sit in my hot tub and craft elite goods, what?
When I asked our writers and stream crew to hit me with their hot tub pics, I’m told that MOP reader Hikari stood, hand to heart, and said we’d asked the question she’s been waiting decades to answer. I might be embellishing that a bit. Here’s SWTOR’s swanky hot tub from Hikari and Natalyia’s stash!
SWTOR apparently has tons of hot tubs and springs. There’s even one in the cash shop.
I would sincerely love to meet the dev who convinced Bungie management to let the Destiny 2 team put this hot tub – complete with melty candles – into the looter-shooter.
Project Gorgon’s tubs aren’t really fancy, but some NPCs won’t talk to you if you’re covered in monster guts from combat, so… yeah, you’re gonna have to take a bath in this MMO.
Eliot tells me there are lots of hot springs and spas in Final Fantasy XIV; thus one is a tiny little hidden hot spring called the Hermit’s Hovel.
Guild Wars 2 invites you to Zelechor Hot Springs in Wayfarer Foothills, a place I forgot existed.
OK, it’s not really a hot tub, but this cute spot in Derndingle in LOTRO’s Entwood was so close that you know I had to stop everything I was doing and get a pic of myself swimming in it.
“For accuracy, the The Secret World location’s proper name is the Jigoku no Yu Bathhouse,” Tyler tells me. “The demons are the Oni of the House-in-Exile. Not pictured: Inflatable sex dolls, standees of anime girls, and a shrine to Kirsten Geary.”
The OASIS-3471 supergroup base on City of Heroes’ Everlasting server (designed by @cloudlessnight) boasts as its centerpiece the most spectacular heated jacuzzi-pool I’ve ever seen. And yes, you can swim in it.
The best part of Murderhobo’s tub in Valheim is the bubbles! This is an in-game item that actually buffs the user, so there’s even a reason to get dunked.
MOP’s Tyler kindly snagged us a shot of New World’s Roman-style baths. Looks cold. Get in, lady!
Nightingale also went for a big ol’ public baths look motif for some of its player structures.
I had completely forgotten that Palia is replete with bathtubs until I started digging around in our image database.
I’m here for the desserts, but I really need the blissed-out stuffed animal gone.
MOP reader Little Bugbear uploaded this pic of a hot tub in Guild Wars 2’s Super Adventure Box to One Shots all the way back in 2017. I never knew it existed!
I am getting the impression that standing in a jacuzzi playing instruments might be just how Baldur’s Gate 3 is played. Murderhobo understood the assignment.
Oh man, Hikari and Natalyia’s MapleStory 2 hot tub hits hard. RIP.
Who could forget the WildStar kiddie pool? Not us. We used this screenshot a thousand times when WildStar was a going concern. RIP.
Whoa, the hot tub in Star Citizen looks like a swirling galaxy. I ain’t getting in that!
Black Desert’s ensuite jacuzzi is literally better than anything in real life. That chandelier though.
Black Desert doesn’t stop at a single hot tub, fam. Black Desert opens an entire water park up every summer. This is making me think we need a top 10 MMORPG beaches roundup, yeah?
Man, I did not have “Champions Online also has a hot tub” on my hot tub Bingo card. Thanks, Hikari!
Hikari’s toon in Vindictus is far too sexy for this jacuzzi.
I clearly don’t play Elder Scrolls Online as much as I should. I didn’t know you could piecemeal build like this!
And I have no idea what’s happening here, but we’re down for the party.
“You can’t use Bergen Hot Springs in Guild Wars 1 because it’s a hot spring, not a hot tub!” Too bad, doing it anyway.
I like to imagine that Hikari and Natalyia are kicking back in their high-rise hot tub after a long day of criming on the streets of Grand Theft Auto Online.
Bree, isn’t that just another one of your Star Wars Galaxies houses? Do you literally have more than one hot tub in your SWGL houses?Â
Well yes, three actually, but they don’t count because this one is on Bespin and the other one is on Dantooine, and a totally legitimate Angelfire website from the 1990s told me that the flight distance between Dantooine and Bespin is 22 hours, which is really far in a spaceship, so I can count them both. Did you know Angelfire was still around? You do now.
Finally, we have the pic that prompted this whole article: a hot tub in a City of Heroes supergroup base (BEACHHOUSE-16509 on Everlasting, designed by @ScarredSilencer). I toured this base for this very column and stumbled into two people doing some wild cyber right out in general chat. It was very 2004 all up in there in so many ways… except for the hot tub, of course. 2004 City of Heroes could never!
Considered and rejected…
The MMORPG genre might be “working as intended,” but it can be so much more. Join Massively Overpowered Editor-in-Chief Bree Royce in her Working As Intended column for editorials about and meanderings through MMO design, ancient history, and wishful thinking. Armchair not included.
